For the past few days it seems like I have woken up angry and the rest of the day I am angry. Usually about noon I decide that I do not want to be an angry person and try to change my attitude but something is out of sorts. Something isn't right, like a car with a clogged carburetor, I realize I am not running efficiently. I have been actively in my mind, trying to think of a way to change this thing about myself. Using strictly mind power/will power I have tried to "decide" my way out of this clog and get back to running correctly. I don't know if any of you can relate to this but those of you who can probably know that it doesn't work; at least it didn't for me. Alas, there is hope though, for I happened upon the cure to this problem tonight.

I spoke of this cure in my previous blog titled "when is God happy with you?". Allow me a moment to set the stage. Today the weather was amazing. When I say that most people will think instantly of a tropical breeze and not a cloud in the sky. This was not the case. While that is great, today's perfect weather consisted of 63 degrees high and 54 degrees low and rainy. It was overcast all day and a light cool breeze cooled everything off. It was the kind of weather that you would have a bonfire and hayride in to kick off the fall. Anyway, I love this kind of weather. Fall is my favorite season. So with that in mind I decided to relax and enjoy the rustling in the trees. I got my trusty lawn chair and headed out to my front walk.

I opened my chair and sat down. The trees were swaying in the breeze and the neighborhood was calm. I could hear some kids in the distance and the occasional car driving by but that was it. I closed my eyes and felt the wind gently touch my skin. I looked up and saw the gray clouds lumbering slowly overhead like some Hawaiian tourist who moves slow enough to take a picture of everything before moving on. Everything was in such perfect harmony.

The breeze slowed to a stop only for a second before picking back up. And suddenly I found myself in silence. In the silence something told me to listen. It said to clear my head and heart of every worry. It said to stop thinking about the day, monetary stresses, and everything that I am unsure of about myself, the world and our future.

The wind resumed its journey. Before I could pass this off as just my imagination the wind slowed again, then stopped. I was ready to listen. Two specific thoughts permeated my heart at that moment. The first could be summed up in one word. A feeling scrolling across my consciousness like a marquis, "PRAYER". The second idea just as clear, "My Word". I closed my eyes in a bittersweet sigh of thanks.

The wind resumed gently.

. . . Nothing. For anyone who has experienced this before they will know what I am talking about. But this was the state of my mind. There was nothing but joy and peace. Overwhelming peace. This leads me to think of a passage from 1 Kings 19:5-13. Here is the passage:

All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night.

The LORD Appears to Elijah

And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

10 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

This passage is what came to mind when I experienced all of this. It is not like I didn't know that I need to pray and read my bible. And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I needed to slow down and get away from life and our culture. While this is my point, it is not all I am trying to convey. I have heard this taught over and over again however I have just experienced what I have been taught and I knew. It is great to be reminded. It is even better when you are reminded with a gentle nudging from the Holy Spirit. I leave you with this thought. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God”.

Do with it what you will. I hope it will bless you. Right now I am going to go pray.

At What Point Is God Happy With You

A couple of weeks ago I wnet and sat down on my porch. With book in hand, and some of the finer things in life, I began to alter my mind. Voraciously pouring over pages I sat there reading. Every page deepening my hunger for the next. My mind began to fill with inspiration, like whipped cream on a dessert. More meaty still my mind filled with principles. And meaty they were; I felt them attach themselves to the structure of my mind. I felt them take control of my arms, legs and hands. Instantly they became a part of ME.

Ah, to describe the hunger! The esire to have every page neatly devoured in that instant and stored in my very being, surged through me. This need this desire is given not by a desire to look cool to any crowd. No, no, if hunger was condemned I would stand alone. No this is done for the One I was created for. Likew a thirsty camel who stumbles upon water I have found the desire to be better for my Lord; and it felt good.

The sun finally sets leaving only fringes of twilight left and not enough to read by. I set the book down and take in the moment. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not figen easily to fits of touchy, feely, emotion-driven decisions about God. However what I felt in that moment can only be described as God smiling at me.

For Those Who Have Sacrificed So Much, I Salute You.

I had just recently spoken to some friends of mine. We got into a discussion about patriotic songs and one of my friends piped up, "I don't like any patriotic songs, I don't even like this country." On the outside I just smiled and took it in stride, but deep down I started to boil.

It is true. I am not a soldier and I have never seen war, at least in real life. But if what Hollywood is portraying is even 1/8th the horror that war really is then I can probably get the picture. Not to mention the countless number of real-life soldiers I have spoken to, and friends I have watched be shipped overseas.

Many of these men and women are giving their lives to this country. But what are they dying for? What is this country? If you take it from my friends perspective they are dying needlessly for a country that is so controlled by the "conspiracy-ridden" government that it cant even operate properly. Every twist and turn holds some new cancer causing drug that the "government" is putting into our water, shampoo, toilet paper, toys, cars, food, etc. Every turn holds some new danger of a world that has been ridden with booby-traps. Watch out, stay ever vigilant! Everything is out to get you.

I will admit, corporations are using unsafe policies and practices and putting their clientele at risk. I do believe that, in some cases, people should abandon the billion dollar pharmaceutical companies for the safer herbal alternative. Stop looking for the pill to fix everything, but I digress. I will admit that some of these fears are valid but people like my friend are focusing on the wrong thing.

These people usually float through life. They seek ways to blame others for their crappy lot in life. Like a fermenting turd they sit there and get smellier and worse to everyone around them. These people are poisonous people. I don't need to tell you to stay away from them because truth be told you can smell them coming. Most of their friends are the exact same way. Entitlement is a word that you will hear often with this group. At any given time you can hear them complaining about the country and things that they don't like. If the government sets up a program that doesn't directly benefit them they are foursquare against it. Yet, when it cuts back they scream, "Capitalists!". They vehemently hate anyone who makes it financially and label "rich" to anyone who has learned to handle money. They vilify these "rich" as a way to escape responsibility for not achieving their dreams. There is much more that I can say about this group of people however I do not want to devote anymore time to explain people that give so precious little back to this great country.

Despite my irritation toward this class of people, I do not hate them. I really just want to ask a question. If they are so against the culture that we have, what are these people doing about their culture to fix it? Moreover, don't they realize that they must change themselves to make anything better?

My God tells me that ". . . you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free" (John 8:32 NIV). A truth that I have found is that when someone dies for your freedom, whether it be God, or a person, you owe it to them to conduct yourselves like free people. Moreover, you owe them your life.
These soldiers are dying for an ideal that I don't think people like my friend are living up to. This country is in trouble. This culture is headed down the drain. We need men and women of honor and integrity to stand up and lead this country to change. I was listening to Orrin Woodward speak in Minneapolis, MN. He said that in every bloody revolution you can look 50-75 years previous in that country and see that an idea war was lost. The result was a horrific revolution.
My point is that if we lose this culture, if we let it slip; if we do not look inside and change the person we see there; if we stand by in horror while everything that has been sacrificed gets spat on and trampled into the dirt, our children and our grand-children will pay in blood for our laziness.

For those who have sacrificed so much, I salute you. God Bless.

People as Objects, People as People

So today I started this book called The Anatomy Of Peace. Man, I am only on chapter five of this book and I have already learned a lot.
Imagine looking at people and not seeing dreams, goals, insecurities, etc. Rather you see something that has been put on this earth to serve your every whim. Only they don't. No, these frustrating autonomous . . . things, don't do what you want them to. Closer examination finds that these. . . entities have feelings and thoughts. And worse yet, they have had a childhood which means that they have. . . IDEAS. And not just a few, mind you, these drones have ideas about everything. And to top it off they want to push these ideas onto you. Who do they think they are? Trying to make you think the way that they do! BAH!
"FALL IN!" your mind screams at them. Anger and frustration seeps out of you. Frustrated you beat these belligerent people with an emotional wet noodle. Eyes closed you start swinging for the fence. One connection, Two! Suddenly you feel a nice breeze coming off of your emotional weapon. What happened? You look around and are utterly alone, save that cricket looking at you in the corner whimsically. He blinks, you blink, he blinks, you blink, he shrugs his shoulders and hops away unscathed by beast in the center of the room.

So come to find out that this is no way to view people. And while this is a vilification of my perceived self, this realization of who I was was like hitting myself with that same wet noodle. Do you ever feel like that? I have learned so much in this last year and even now i feel like the high-rise building of my leadership journey keeps having its workers accidentally nose dive off of the skeleton frame of the building.

Back to what I was talking about. I want to just quote the most powerful part of this book. It is on page 29. Here goes:

"In the way we regard our children, our spouses, neighbors, colleagues, and strangers, we choose to see others either as people like ourselves or as objects. They either count like we do or they don't. In the former case, since we regard them as we regard ourselves, we say our hearts are at peace toward them. In the later case, since we systematically view them as inferior, we say our hearts are at war."

This hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been at war with others like you would not believe. I thought before that it just meant that I was trying to hurt others. This is not the case. A deep inspection of who I am really made me understand that I see people as objects. I am not going to go into why this is right now. Partly because of time, partly because I don't want to create excuses. So for those of you reading that may have been a victim of my wild-swinging-closed-eyed-rampage please forgive me. You are important and I love you all.

I just recently attended a Leadership Seminar for Team Leadership in St. Charles, Missouri. The Speakers there were The Frey's. I have recently tried to relate the feeling that I got there to a friend of mine that was unable to go and I ended up sounding like a nut. I guess the point is that the Team Leaders are getting exceptionally good at moving this business from your head to your heart.
Dean Frey spoke about the principle of Be, Do, Have. This basically is the building block of building your dreams and he asked us to take a few hours to do this ourselves. So naturally I started right away. The following is a direct dictation of the notes that I have here on paper.

BE
1. Father: I want to be my kid's role model and hero as my father is to me. I want Joshua to look up to me and follow what I do. I want to have the influence with my kids to a point that they will come to me with problems, even when the are teenagers. I want to be a moral rock, a standard that everyone in my family looks to for guidance and support. I also want to transfer all of the respect and honor that creates to my GOD.

2. Husband: I want to be a servant leader to my wife. I want to serve her in a way worthy of a queen. I want to provide for her safety and love and I want her to never doubt my love for her. I wan tto look at my wife and see someone I want to serve not someone who owes me anything. I want us to forever be "in love" and never fall out of it.

3. Friend: I wnat to always be in my friends' minds as someone who is a foundation of support in their lives. I wnat my friends to call me up at 3am and 2,000 miles away needing help and to know that I will be there asap. I want to trust and be trusted so much that I am abel to help them through their darkest times.

4. General Self: I want people in my life to see Jesus in me through and through. I wnat new peopel to know that theire is a difference in me from anyone else that they have met. I want God to speak through me. I wnat him to use everything I have and everything that I have become as a tool to further His Kindom. Finally I want to exemplify the scripture Matt. 23:10-12 were Jesus says, "The greatest among you will be your servant."

DO

1. Travel: I want to go everywhere. But first I would go to KC. I want to spend a day at Worlds of Fun and another day at Oceans of Fun. Then I would take a trip from there to Cedar Point and spend a day there. I want to go to Taiwan, catch a train to Lo Dong and spend a month with the kids @ Home Of God's Love. I would work with Ted Skiles to form some blueprints for building 2 dormitories on the property. I would also discuss a budget to increase staffing for the influx of children and fund the new budget.
Without getting in too much detail, I want to travel Europe, Australia, Russia, China, Africa, etc. I will sample all kinds of different food, and make friends in all of these places. I will visit churches in all of these areas, encouraging them and helping them in whatever way that I can.
I will fully support 40 missionary families and set up a foundation to help missionaries by providing a place for people to give money, bibles, etc. With the cost of operation fully funded by me so no money be taken from God's work overseas.
I will open an orphanage and work to help the kids in the system become people of morals, and character.
I will learn to base jump.
I will Skydive.
I will hang glide with Richard.
I will teach my kids to fly an ultralight and buy a fleet of them, one for each person in my family.
I will get my Fixed-Wing and Rotary-wing liscences and I will buy a helicopter.
I will buy a yacht and let missionaries go on short furlough/cruise trips to help them unwind.

I will homeschool my kids full-time and not just like a job, 9-5. Learning happens outside the classroom and I want to teach by example as well as book stuff. This will occurr 24/7.

I will build my parents the house of their dreams on a ton of land that they can enjoy debt-free.

Have

I would like a somewhat larger house maybe a 6 bedroom, 4 bath with a study/library, a living room (with no tv), a small "theater" with seating for 12. A projector screen and a projector to show the movies. I want my wife's and my room to have a tiled corner so we can put a jacuzzi in, plus another room in our bathroom to put a sauna. Plus an indoor/outdoor pool with a highdive.

I would like to own a private island with Richard, and Zach. I would put a nice, smaller house on it. Also I would put a runway/helo pad on the island.

I could keep going with the things that I want to own, however, these things have pled in comparison to the Be and Do portions of my dreams. The final thing I want to leave in this writing is the feeling of freedom.
I cannot wait to have put in my 2 weeks at my mob. 2 weeks passes and on my last day I walk out of the front door for the last time. Never again to be shackled by the chains of hourly wage or the needs of an organization that gives nothing back. Like a reformed man released from prison, I am free. The wind picks up unnaturally strong and a thumping is heard overhead. Everyone looks around for the source and just as they do, a helicopter flies over the building and lands in the front hard. The doors open and out comes my wife with Joshua, Richard Matthews, and the Hammers. These people have been with me from the beginning and have become some of my best friends. We all hug each other and wave to the befuddled people left standing on the lawn. As we lift off we start to talk with each other about the freedom that we all now share.

Okay,
Hope you all enjoyed this. Let me know what you think.
From my heart to yours.
- halfway skyscraper